Christian was making me think

I really want to dress up sometime soon.

but I need some dress pants that don't suck and actually fit.

let's hope for that soooooon! :]

Tests

I feel like I'm tested a lot. Like, nothing is ever simple or easy for me, except for my apartment which my dad is helping me out soooooo much with
but I mean, like, in school and with relationships, platonic and romantic.
I've never had the "normal" people as my friends. In middle school we were the weird anime and video game kids. Then, at the end of middle school I found out I liked boys and that was another test, to survive your entire middle school knowing you were gay.
Then, going to a high school where you had like 3 friends sucked was pretty terrible.
North was okay, I can't complain about that besides not having many friends my age, but I didn't care about that.
Now, I have a boyfriend that lives an hour away who I currently cannot contact at all, close friends who live the same distance and I can only see once every two weeks tops, and a family I'd rather not talk to right now.
I guess maybe I pick to make these tests? I'd like to think I don't, but it seems like I never pick the easy way through anything. Oh well.

I don't think anything in that paragraph made any sense at all, but it helped to type it out.

and p.s. to you, sir, I hope you miss me as much as I miss you.

I get the feeling you don't.

hopefully I'm wrong.

to go from

talking to someone every day to not having any contact whatsoever with them.

sucks.

I already hated the idea of a long distance relationship...

idk if I can do it where I can only talk to the person when their dad leaves for a bit.

fuck this I need you really badly right now ;___________;

I wish

I was stronger.

when I am emotionally stressed, I just can't function very well :/

Lame

I need a break where I can just sit and play video games and watch gundam.

with no school or talking or anything.

I will never

be "good" enough for you or "smart" enough for you.

Why do all gay guys feel the need to be "intellectual"? It'd be cool if you didn't talk down to me all the time.

Lameeeeeee I just want someone who doesn't judge me for not liking school and will play videogames with me :/

I have

an unhealthy obsession with Asian men.

someone help me.