it's taking every ounce of my being

not to just completely verbally tear someone's being apart right now.

every.

ounce.

you win online course

these online tests are fucking ridiculous and I def will not be passing them at all.

time to take my F in style :/

oh well, I guess I'll just retake it in the Spring.

The D.E.N.N.I.S. system

time to try it out :D

karma, biatch

That awkward moment when

someone says they want to be independently happy and then are constantly looking for a new boyfriend.

I was the ONLY person on the planet that took you seriously. You were the token gay guy, a joke, to EVERYONE but me.

And then you have the nerve to say you want to find someone who takes you seriously?

Fuck off, just say you didn't like me any more.

I can't fucking STAND when people can't be upfront about that kind of stuff. Lying doesn't make me feel better, I swear.

I don't think anyone broke my trust more than you did. Hopefully I'll find someone who can make me trust people again.

I need to start dating, pronto. I don't know where I'll find them but I need to find them. I deserve someone. I'm not that lame. I know I'm kinda weird but I'm not that terrible, am I? I generally give a shit about what I look like. I can speak to people okay. I am not socially retarded. Why isn't that good enough for most gay people?

The only guys who will talk to me are straight guys and they don't fucking count. It's almost like that works against me. I don't understand how people think.

I know I'm ranting, I get it, but it's helping me not have a totally shitty night.

He doesn't deserve to be happy when I'm not. I gave him a serious chance that he won't get again any time soon. Hopefully I'll get that same chance someday.

Closure

I haz it.

I finally put my big boy face on and messaged Christian and started talking to him. I mean, we'll never really be as close as we were, but it's not to not have to be afraid to see him every time I'm out.

And I asked Bud to hang out with me.

One down, one to go.

surrender

grey's anatomy put it well, when you give in you almost always forget what you were fighting about.

except you don't forget.

but also as grey's anatomy says about things that hurt to think about.

you put them in a little box and just try not to ever take them out again...you can't forget them, but you can do your best to leave it alone.

thanks Addison.

you know what I want for my birthday?

my friend back.