Lonely

I feel really lonely all the time now, it kinda sucks. But I guess you just have to keep pressing on and do what you love, yeah?

I saw a good quote in my awesome English text book today that said:

"Growing up homosexual was to grow up normally but displaced; to experience romantic love, but with the wrong person; to entertain grand ambitions, but of the unacceptable sort; to seek a gradual self-awakening, but in secret, not public."
-Andrew Sullivan, "What Are Homosexuals For?"

Adios!

Hmm...

I haven't posted on this thing in so long, this is like Xanga all over again!

These first weeks of school have been very peaceful. I've just gone to class for 2-3 hours Mon.-Thurs., have Friday-Sunday off, then repeat :D if there's one thing in life that's cool right now, it's my schedule. And so far, classes have been really...really...really easy. And I have at least one friend in one of my classes. Ben Carpenter is in History with me, which is nice. The other classes, however...I'm pretty much on my own. It's okay though, (hopefully) I'll make some new friends.

Friends...life has been SO different without them. It's like...everyone but Brandon has moved away or goes to high school still. I don't know what to do with myself, I know I should be practicing or something, but even Surround Sound has gone up dry, they haven't posted anything new in over a month >_< I can't find a job anywhere and always need money. Nothing except my schedule seems to be going right. I just wish something would give and I could find a break somewhere...everything seems to be disappearing and breaking beneath me. Whatever can I do?

And of course, there's my awesome love life. Oh wait, no there's not, because no one likes me like that. What the hell am I doing wrong here? I just want someone chill who wants to be with me...I tried with Emilio and he's obviously not interested...what the hell am I doing wrong? I'd really like to know.

Oh well, back to the grind I guess...

Baroque

Mmm, I love baroque music, it's really pretty :D

The job situation is going as usual, no job. I applied at 2 more places, so I hope that someone calls me back soon or when I call them I hope they want me...

Tomorrow is the first day of summer band for the little drumline kids at North. You have no idea how happy I am NOT to be there. It makes me really hope my dad will get the job at SG though, everyone is way too edgy around my house because of the lack of job-age. I can't stand it. But what can ya do?

I've finally brought myself to start practicing snare again, it's been forever since I did it regularly. I'm going to take my brother's advice and head to Lakes of Springfield and just go practice out there, so if you ever hear someone playing away out there, that's me :D

I hope things start coming together soon in the relationship scene, it just feels so hopeless. I've never had good luck with guys, but I just wonder what I'm doing wrong. Jenny said I need to put myself out there more, but how? I'm nice to everyone and try my best to be the best person I can be and people just don't seem to be into me. What should I do?

The new month has almost started

School is coming up faster than I'm pretending it is. I'd like to not go to school, but I guess I shouldn't complain since I actually get to go to school. My classes for Fall '09 are 1301 Govt., 1302 Eng., Speech, Intro to Psychology, Lab Band (jazz band), and Steel Band. I wonder how it'll be...

I applied for a job for the first time in a while. I went to the Fry's over in Plano. I'd reallyyyyyy like the job, I need money a lot and I need to start saving for books and the WGI group I really hope I'm going to get to be in, Surround Sound. I mean, I have to make it first obviously, but I'm thinking positively xDD

Today was also the first day I worked out in a loooooong time, it was quite painful >_< that's okkkkk, it'll get easier. It'd be a lot easier if I had some inspiration though, you know? I know you're supposed to do it for yourself, but sometimes when you don't have anyone that you're trying to look good for, it's hard to want to do it. I guess I just have to stay positive and hope I find someone at Richland...

Here we go again

College has almost started and I think it's time I started a new blog. After the...incident involving my old blog, I'm going to be a little more careful with who I let read this thing.

But anyways, out with the old, in with the new! Most of my friends are moving away from me and I don't know what to do. I really want to start working but getting a non-fast food related job is pretty difficult >_< oh well, wish me luck!

My ukulele should be fixed soon, maybe that will help my first year of college be a little bit easier ;o; I mean, I'll have friends, but a lot of my friends will still be in high school (which is going to be hard because I'm not a part of that anymore and I'm thinking I'll feel left out and awkward) and the other majority is moving away to college. Brandon will always be here, but he works a lot and lives in Egypt ;o; David will be here too, so hopefully I'll make it out alive.

Well, I suppose it's time to go to sleep, adios mijos <3