Wednesday, January 19, 2011

why do I

have to be the unhappy one?

I did EVERYTHING for you.

I went against my better judgement and stayed with you.

and you spit in my face.

I still like you a lot,

but I will never have respect for you and I will never forgive you for taking my trust and my heart and smashing them.

The person I'm talking to now just told me he was basically a fake and I'm almost repulsed by him now.

I feel like if I stay the way I am I will never find anyone.

But why should I have to change for everyone else?

Why do I have to be the unhappy one?

I really enjoy being nice to people and helping people, but now I'm afraid that this is going to happen again.

Why?

What did I ever do to deserve to have that happen to me?

I don't think I'll ever be able to understand that.

Hearts aren't rented out, they're given as a gift of good will. You trust the person to take care of it and love it just like you take care of theirs. Hopefully someone can repair my feelings, because for now I have 0 interest in giving broken equipment to people.

I'm not sure if anyone would ever want to get this thing anyways, apparently it's not any good anyways.

:/ when will I get the good things I KNOW I deserve? I'd like to know...
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3 comments:

  1. pikaophilicJanuary 19, 2011 at 6:57 PM

    do you know how much i love you? because it's more than a lot. it's like mind boggling how much i love every single bit of you, even the broken bits. and i just know that there's got to be someone out there that loves you that much too. and don't listen to anyone that doesn't think you're amazing or special or worth the world. they're crazy.

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  2. EstebanJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    :3333 I love you just as much.

    I just don't understand why someone would do that to me.

    I'm not trying to sound conceited by any means...

    I just feel like I do everything in my power to be a good person and be there for people and love people, and I don't think I deserve what I got.

    ReplyDelete
  3. pikaophilicJanuary 19, 2011 at 7:22 PM

    you didn't deserve what you got. most people in this world are just shitty though. they are shitty and blind and stupid. and they will take anything for granted.

    ReplyDelete

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