Operation

surround myself with as many people as humanly possible before I have to leave to distract myself from being in a relationship for 6 months with someone who didn't actually give a fuck about me a SUCCESS!

Until Monday, that is :/

Dang

that was the first time I cried in a

looooooooooooooong

time.

and over someone who probably didn't even like me that much.

damn.

oh well, gotta keep moving.

When I get back to school is when it's going to be awful. I'm going to need to surround myself with friends for sure :3

I have

the absolute best friends ever.

I have friends that:
teach me new things
give me new ideas
are honest without being rude
make an effort to talk to me
deal with my annoying interests
make an effort to talk to and get to know my boyfriend, which means soooo much to me.
help me understand why other people thing and act like they do.
make me feel normal, something I almost never do.

you guys are all the greatest ever and I wish I could see all of you every day and you could hear me say this stuff to you every single day. Like...seriously <333

I need

near-constant reassurance that I'm good enough and needed.

and that's just annoying.

I feel like

being nice just doesn't pay off.

people think you're either boring, uptight, or just plain annoying.

but I don't like being mean to people, I like helping people out :/

been thinking lately

which, by the way, is never good.

but ANYWAYS,

I've been thinking, and I think I should have definitely stayed in Rowlett/Garland this year.

All my friends minus like 2 or 3 live there, my boyfriend lives there during the week and I could see him way more often, job opportunity, while still bad, is leaps and bounds better than in Denton. I still could have taken a good amount of classes at Richland and just taken a few that I needed for my major this summer or something.

Mistake.

Oh well, can't change it now and def can't move back.

This summer I really want an apartment. I know I need roommates, but I think I could find a few pretty easy. Now I just need a job to start saving up for that said apartment.

and to go to NY with Bernard and Abbey, of course :]

Biggest solution to everything? Find a job fast. I need a lead, damnit!

why

am I the evil one for not liking that a lot of my friends have ditched me for drugs.

why does that make me the bad guy? I'm supposed to be like "oh you just do whatever you want, who am I to tell you how to live your life?"

you're right, I have no right to tell you how to live your life.

but I have all the reason to be really disappointed in you and to feel betrayed by you.

not too many people seem to agree with me and it drives me crazy that I'm always made to look like the bad guy.