what I can do to make people take me seriously?
oh yeah
not be gay
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I'm so fucking scared
to go to school.
I don't like partying.
I don't fit in with "cool straight people".
I can't do this :/
I just want to sit here and be naive and chill.
;o;
I don't like partying.
I don't fit in with "cool straight people".
I can't do this :/
I just want to sit here and be naive and chill.
;o;
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Day 10-14
whoops, got behind, didn't I? xDD
10. Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Someone I always had wished I talked to more was my brother. But at the same time I don't. He's just so...unapproachable. I can't talk to him about anything unless it has something to do with his business. It's kinda frustrating :/ maybe someday he'll learn to...like...care about stuff outside of his little bubble.
11. a deceased person you wish you could talk to
Idk, I don't know any dead people myself, but I guess in terms of celebrities or even just famous people, probably Harvey Milk or someone else killed in the fight for gay rights, he's just one of the more famous ones. Just to talk to them about how you can gain the majority of the public's affection while still being gay AND still being yourself. That's some skill right there
12. The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
The only two people I can think of that caused me a lot of unneeded pain are Chaz Robinson and XXXZ XXXXX. Both of them went out of their way to make me miserable, one for no reason and the other for me using libel against them, if you could even call it that. Like...Chaz just liked to fuck with me from the first day I met him for no real reason. I think he just thought it was funny. He was the first person to call me a faggot for being gay. He most definitely doesn't remember that at all and I even had him in a class at Richland this past semester (he unsurprisingly didn't show up half the time). I don't care though he looks miserable and I can't say I feel very bad for him.
as for XXXX he's just an awful person and a complete fraud. Someday karma will actually catch up to him and even if the whole public doesn't see him for who he really is, something important of his will be ruined, I'm sure of it. I'm just glad I never have to deal with him in a personal, professional, or any other manner again. Ever.
13. someone you wish could forgive you.
Well...not in a conceited way, but I can't think of anyone I've screwed over that horribly that they hate me now. I'm sure I made someone feel horrible and hate me, but I try to move on from that kind of stuff...
14. Someone you've drifted away from
this one is a no-brainer. Bud, you were the little brother I always wanted. When everyone else gave me dirty looks for the music I listened to or games I played or anything like that, you would be interested in what I was saying/know what I was talking about. You were what I wished I could be, minus the depressed about nothing all the time thing. You didn't always treat me super greatly, but you were pretty much always an amazing friend and, like I said, always understood me (minus anything about my homosexuality, I don't think you ever really wanted to understand that). You don't think the same way of me anymore, and I don't think the same of you. You think I'm a self-righteous hypocrite and I think you're a pathetic e-head wannabe. So I guess we're even, huh? I'd rather not talk to or about you ever again if I could help it, you're so far from the person I knew it just makes me feel sad to think about you anymore :/ thanks for being my friend when I needed you, and goodbye, have a fun life. I'm sure after you realize drugs are a way to cover up your unwarranted depression, you'll find happiness somewhere.
*looks at frame that has a picture of two former friends that has the word "memories" around the frame* "look, a memory, because that's all [he] is, a memory"
-Jenny Dowsey
10. Someone you don't talk to as much as you'd like to
Someone I always had wished I talked to more was my brother. But at the same time I don't. He's just so...unapproachable. I can't talk to him about anything unless it has something to do with his business. It's kinda frustrating :/ maybe someday he'll learn to...like...care about stuff outside of his little bubble.
11. a deceased person you wish you could talk to
Idk, I don't know any dead people myself, but I guess in terms of celebrities or even just famous people, probably Harvey Milk or someone else killed in the fight for gay rights, he's just one of the more famous ones. Just to talk to them about how you can gain the majority of the public's affection while still being gay AND still being yourself. That's some skill right there
12. The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
The only two people I can think of that caused me a lot of unneeded pain are Chaz Robinson and XXXZ XXXXX. Both of them went out of their way to make me miserable, one for no reason and the other for me using libel against them, if you could even call it that. Like...Chaz just liked to fuck with me from the first day I met him for no real reason. I think he just thought it was funny. He was the first person to call me a faggot for being gay. He most definitely doesn't remember that at all and I even had him in a class at Richland this past semester (he unsurprisingly didn't show up half the time). I don't care though he looks miserable and I can't say I feel very bad for him.
as for XXXX he's just an awful person and a complete fraud. Someday karma will actually catch up to him and even if the whole public doesn't see him for who he really is, something important of his will be ruined, I'm sure of it. I'm just glad I never have to deal with him in a personal, professional, or any other manner again. Ever.
13. someone you wish could forgive you.
Well...not in a conceited way, but I can't think of anyone I've screwed over that horribly that they hate me now. I'm sure I made someone feel horrible and hate me, but I try to move on from that kind of stuff...
14. Someone you've drifted away from
this one is a no-brainer. Bud, you were the little brother I always wanted. When everyone else gave me dirty looks for the music I listened to or games I played or anything like that, you would be interested in what I was saying/know what I was talking about. You were what I wished I could be, minus the depressed about nothing all the time thing. You didn't always treat me super greatly, but you were pretty much always an amazing friend and, like I said, always understood me (minus anything about my homosexuality, I don't think you ever really wanted to understand that). You don't think the same way of me anymore, and I don't think the same of you. You think I'm a self-righteous hypocrite and I think you're a pathetic e-head wannabe. So I guess we're even, huh? I'd rather not talk to or about you ever again if I could help it, you're so far from the person I knew it just makes me feel sad to think about you anymore :/ thanks for being my friend when I needed you, and goodbye, have a fun life. I'm sure after you realize drugs are a way to cover up your unwarranted depression, you'll find happiness somewhere.
*looks at frame that has a picture of two former friends that has the word "memories" around the frame* "look, a memory, because that's all [he] is, a memory"
-Jenny Dowsey
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Day 9
9. Someone I wish I could meet
If I could meet anyone, I think it would be...idk, I don't really want to meet meet celebrities, I think I would just hate them if I did. But maybe like George Michael? I'd love to just sit down with him and see what it was like being gay when he was and how it was being in the closet while still in the limelight. Just seems like it would be a really interesting conversation...
If I could meet anyone, I think it would be...idk, I don't really want to meet meet celebrities, I think I would just hate them if I did. But maybe like George Michael? I'd love to just sit down with him and see what it was like being gay when he was and how it was being in the closet while still in the limelight. Just seems like it would be a really interesting conversation...
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Day 7 + 8
7. Ex-Boyfriend
You were totally not right for me. You were too smart for me, too emotional for me, we just shouldn't have been together. But it worked for me somehow anyways. I think you saw way before me that we weren't meant to be together though. You were one of the first people ever to give me butterflies in my stomach though, and just like you I'll never forget that summer together. You're a great guy and I know you'll charm your way into whatever guy's heart you want :] keep being you, you're an amazing guy <333
and P.S. you've always been amazing at art, do something with it! :]
8. Internet friend
Ohhh, Megumi, you were such a cool chick :] I only got to see you at a few anime conventions and not for long enough by any means, but it was great having someone to talk to outside of my actual situation that was into the same stuff as me. You got me into some cool music and I always enjoyed just chatting with you, you are an awesome person. You'll never everrr see this, but thanks for making a really hard year in my life just a little bit easier :] I can't find the pic of you and me anywhere :/ oh well, thanks for everything <33
oh, and p.s. to someone, I hope you're as great as I think you are, I've been messed with by one too many people and I just fear you're going to ditch me like everyone else. I have faith that it will be good though :]
You were totally not right for me. You were too smart for me, too emotional for me, we just shouldn't have been together. But it worked for me somehow anyways. I think you saw way before me that we weren't meant to be together though. You were one of the first people ever to give me butterflies in my stomach though, and just like you I'll never forget that summer together. You're a great guy and I know you'll charm your way into whatever guy's heart you want :] keep being you, you're an amazing guy <333
and P.S. you've always been amazing at art, do something with it! :]
8. Internet friend
Ohhh, Megumi, you were such a cool chick :] I only got to see you at a few anime conventions and not for long enough by any means, but it was great having someone to talk to outside of my actual situation that was into the same stuff as me. You got me into some cool music and I always enjoyed just chatting with you, you are an awesome person. You'll never everrr see this, but thanks for making a really hard year in my life just a little bit easier :] I can't find the pic of you and me anywhere :/ oh well, thanks for everything <33
oh, and p.s. to someone, I hope you're as great as I think you are, I've been messed with by one too many people and I just fear you're going to ditch me like everyone else. I have faith that it will be good though :]
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Day 6
6. A stranger
I'm pretty bad with strangers and making new friends, but to a stranger out there that cares about me, I hope you find me and tell me that everything is going to be alright and hold me and everything else wonderful.
yeah...
I'm pretty bad with strangers and making new friends, but to a stranger out there that cares about me, I hope you find me and tell me that everything is going to be alright and hold me and everything else wonderful.
yeah...
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